Madonna Is Looking For (Some) Molly

Madonna is a self-delusional dope who, like the groundhog she is, has to stick her head out a hole every few years to show the world that she's still relevant. This season, she must have seen spring because she hasn't gone back into her hole since the SuperBowl.

So, to prove that she's still relevant, and not the 53-year old quasi-British wannabe old hag hanger on that she truly is, she dropped a new album this year, entitled MDNA, an obvious play on MDMA, the technical name for the drug Ecstasy. She went further by making the album a club / techno / house oriented record, using producers such as William Orbit, Martin Solveig and Benny Benassi, all house and techno type dudes.

Well, when she dropped a comment about MDMA at a recent concert, she was called on it by DJ DeadMau5. Then, the fun began in earnest. Isn't it always fun when stuff gets dropped at raves? (See what I did there?? HA!!)  TMZ reports:

Madonna says DeadMau5 is DeadWrong ... claiming she was NOT promoting drug use at a concert in Florida ... despite allegations she used her stage time to glamorize the drug ecstasy.

Deadmau5 -- one of the most famous DJs in the world -- had attacked Madonna as a "f**king idiot" for asking the crowd at the Ultra Music Festival if anyone has "seen Molly" -- Molly is a slang term for the active ingredient in ecstasy.

Now, Madge is lashing back ... with a pair of mouse ears.

The Material Girl posted a photo of herself in Mickey Mouse gear ... with the caption, "From one mouse to another I dont support drug use and i never have. I was referring to the song called "Have You Seen Molly" written by my friend Cedric Gervais who I almost worked with on my album."

Deadmau5 saw the tweet and replied ... saying, "Fair enough, I was just voicing my concerns as I usually do. +1 respect for clearing it up personally ... regardless, just be a little more aware of what you should represent at EDM events, and I'll watch my mouth."

Madge replied ... "Communication is always best. You should have called me first, we could have cleared it up 'privately.' ;) See you on the road."

What the hell ever. The only thing this stupid song says is "Help me find Molly," "Molly makes me want to dance," and just about every other "Mary Jane" influenced innuendo you can throw into a crappy 8-minute techno song. DeadMau5 (correctly) calls out Madonna for a flippant use of a terminology of a drug that has resulted in numerous deaths and hospitalizations over the the last few years at underground parties and raves, and DeadMau5 folded like a worn out futon when the Queen weakly counters his call out. Not that I had any respect for techno music anyway, but both of these artist should go looking for Molly and never come back. Oh, that wasn't me saying they should both OD on Ecstasy. Honestly, I didn't mean that at all. I was talking about Molly Ringwald. Yeah, that's it. Loved her in "16 Candles."

Here's the song "Help Me Find Molly":

Another New Avengers Trailer

Yes, I know this week is all about "The Hunger Games", but I always like to rage against the light. So, here's another trailer for "The Avengers". Make sure you use the bathroom BEFORE you watch it, or you may wet your pants uncontrollably, like I did. Hey, I admitted it. Don't judge me, dude. I now officially knows how my German Shepherd feels now when she gets excited and can't control herself, and goes all Snoopy Happy Feet on me. so I'll never get mad at her again.

Take THIS, Katniss!!!

Ray J Didn't Know Whitney Was Coking Up

So, everyone knows that Whitney Houston and Ray J (AKA Brandy's Little Brother) had been "very close friends" for a long time. They were deemed an "alleged couple in 2007, 2009, and again just weeks before her death. But even though everyone in Hollywood knew about Whitney's drug problems, including family, friends, music executives, Oprah, spacemen, highlanders, deepsea divers, and, oh, everyone else on the planet that breathes air, the one person that didn't was Ray J. Can you believe it? TMZ reports:

Ray J is pissed that people are accusing him of being Whitney's enabler and, even worse, fueling her with the fatal dose of cocaine.

Ray J's rep tells TMZ ... the singer had NO KNOWLEDGE that Whitney was using again.

The rep says Ray J is especially upset at claims made by Bobby Brown's sister, Leolah Brown, who went on TV Thursday night and suggested Ray J was to blame for Whitney's demise.  Ray J says the claim is absolute B.S.

Now, there's probably no way we'll ever know for sure about Ray J and Whitney, because, as we all know, Ray J. likes to keep things on the downlow. Like that time he dated Kim Kardashian. Good thing he kept that under wraps. It might have totally ruined her reputation.

Crap, Michael Bay Is About To Mess Up Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

I don't mind telling you that I think that the Michael Bay Transformers movies to me have the entertainment value of those hurricane and storm alert warning reports on CNN or your typical SuperBowl pre-game show: they're both loud, long, boring and have no value to me whatsoever. Now the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie franchise has been hit and miss over it's history. First, there was a live-action movie that was cool (for 1990 standards), that cost $13 million to make, and raked in over $200 million. So, of course, instead of getting a good script and director, the movie was followed by two unimaginative sequels that pretty much killed the cash cow by 1993. Then a computer animated movie that dropped in 2007 that made about $95 million that was pretty good. So, those of us who liked it have been waiting for a sequel. But, don't you know that Hollywood is all about self-destruction and screwing up the simplist things by tossing money at it when it doesn't need to. So why should the TMNT franchise be any different? Friggin' AAAARGH. Yahoo Movies reports:

Michael Bay seems to be at it again: This time the creator of mega-blockbusters is planning to produce a new, live-action version of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles." But, if he has his way, he may need to change the name to "Not So Mutant" Alien Turtles. Definitely less catchy.

The "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" director told a crowd recently at the Nickelodeon Upfront New York event that instead of the series fans have loved about a mutant strain of turtles from earth who are obsessed with pizza and turn into two-footed creatures thanks to some transmutant goo, Bay's reptiles will simply be an alien race.

As first called out on the blog StuffWeLike, Bay explained his vision for the 2013 remake: "When you see this movie, kids are going to believe, one day, that these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie." Wha? And then, "The turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny, and completely loveable."

Once again, Michael Bay is killing the childhood memories of millions of people so he can CGI the crap out of a bunch of dudes wearing rubber suits. This is going to suck harder than that tube that Augustus Gloop got stuck in. The only way Michael Bay could do less damage to TMNT is if he actually stabbed the four turtles in front of a bunch of kids, threw the severed remains in a pot and slowly ate the juicy turtle remains in front of them.

Kristen Bell REALLY Loves Sloths. Really. (VIDEO)

 

OK, now this is really strange. Now, like any red-blooded male, I think Kristen Bell is an absolute hottie. Girl can absolutely no wrong, and I'd even give her a pass if she pulled a Sarah Marshall on me because, well, she's Kristen Bell, darn it, and if she came at me with that bikini, I'd forgive her, too.

Well, like any other red-blooded male, you'd want to know the one thing you could do to make your girlfriend cry. The one thing that would turn her into putty in your hands. The one thing that would make her love you forever. If you're a guy who's ever chased a girl, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Well, thanks to the magic of television, we now know what it is that pushes Kristen Bell's buttons.

Is it candy? No, that's way too easy. Is it a leading role in a major television series? Nah, been there done that. Is it a foot massage? You know, the kind where you got your stuff down, and you ain't be tickling or nothing (thanks, Quentin)? No, it's not even the ultimate in foot massages. What, then, could it possibly be?

Well, for Kristen Bell, it's a sloth.

Yeah, that's what I said. A sloth. One of those weird creatures that do nothing but hang in trees in the jungle, eat, and move at a two miles an hour.

Don't ask me why. KB be crazy... Crazy for that Bradypodidae style. You know what I'm saying, G? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Talkin' about that Pygmy three-toed sloth action.

Now you know, nerd. But sorry to say, Ellen beat you to the punch. Dang Ellen. Wench has all kind of game. Ellen pulled out the Sloth card, and KB caved like LeBron in a NBA playoff.

First Portia DeRossi, now Kristen Bell. Can't a brother get a win once in a while? Damn. I hate the player AND the game today.

Check out the video:

Chris Rock Attacks Cameraman About Tea Party Comments

"I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity."
  -Old Chris Rock Quote

There's a right way to deal with stuff, and a wrong way to deal. And then I guess, there's there's the Chris Rock way. When asked by author/reporter Jason Mattera about a comment he made about Tea Party people being racist in Esquire magazine last year, he went off, and attacked the author's cameraman. Now, some of you may think that Chris Rock had a right, and a camera shouldn't have been anywhere near him. And you may have been right...if he hadn't been a big star at a major film festival where (guess what??) they have CAMERAS. So that doesn't play with me here.

And considering this happened two months ago, Rock has had plenty of time to prepare for the crapfest that's about to ensue. Seriously. So don't cry for him, Argentina.

It's not the first time Chris Rock has flipped out on his political stances. Back in 2007, he went off with a obscenity-laced introduction of the Red Hot Chili Peppers that had to be censored by the BBC during a Live Earth concert. The promoters apologized for the rant, but Rock didn't recant, saying later, “I like to say those things. It’s not good weed if you don’t choke”.

The comic also delivered a further verbal two-finger to the event by quipping, “I think this will do for global warming what Live 8 did for ending world hunger.”

 

Why KONY 2012 Is Complete Crap

Unlike most people, I have this tendency to watch where I step, because quite frankly, there's usually a big pile of crap where you least expect it to be. So when Invisible Children's Kony 2012 video suddenly went viral last week, I treated it like every other video that goes viral-- with a great big proclamation of "I CALL BULLSHIT", smelling the complete over-hype. I'm not the only one. PrisonPlanet.com reports:

According to Jason Russell’s appearance on the Today show several days ago, over 500,000 action kits have been ordered at $30 a piece, meaning this campaign has brought in a minimum of $15M in revenue this week. This is great news: at least 500,000 people are “advocate[s] of awesome” according to the group’s webstore! So where’s that money going? I’ll leave it to Jedidiah Jenkins, Invisible Children’s Director of Ideology:

“Thirty-seven percent of our budget goes directly to central African-related programs, about 20 percent goes to salaries and overhead, and the remaining 43 percent goes to our awareness programs. […] But aside from that, the truth about Invisible Children is that we are not an aid organization, and we don’t intend to be. I think people think we’re over there delivering shoes or food. But we are an advocacy and awareness organization.”
Yes, you heard it from Invisible Children: more money goes to awareness than to Africa.

Oh, so only about 30% of the money from those mini Shepard Fairey kits are actually going to help anyone. If that. In other words, Invisible Children will probably pocket about $9 million of the $15 million they raised. OK. But, oh, there's more...

More detailed breakdown from the Guardian’s Julian Borger, John Vidal, and Rosebell Kagumire in Kampala, Uganda...

“Invisible Children’s accounts show it is a cash rich operation, which more than tripled its income to $9m (£5.68m) in 2011, mainly from personal donations. Of this, nearly 25% was spent on travel and film-making. Most of the money raised has been spent in the US. The accounts show $1.7m went on US employee salaries, $850,000 in film production costs, $244,000 in “professional services” – thought to be Washington lobbyists – and $1.07m in travel expenses. Nearly $400,000 was spent on offices in San Diego.”

OK, granted they spend a lot of money, but at least we know where the money's going...right? Well, about that...

[Invisible Children]  have also been criticized by the Better Business Bureau for refusing to provide information necessary to determine if IC meets the Bureau’s standards.


Additionally, IC has a low two-star rating in accountability from Charity Navigator because they won’t let their financials be independently audited. That’s not a good thing. In fact, it’s a very bad thing, and should make you immediately pause and reflect on where the money you’re sending them is going.

So before you put on your red shirt (which is a great color to hide in when you're putting up those posters at night, by the way), take a minute, and resist the urge to be swayed by images of poor little kids and horrible stories of brutality. I'm not saying that Kony is The Pope, but what I AM saying is there's a lot more to the story than meets the eye here. And if Rihanna's for it, that should give you enough of a reason to question it based on that alone.

A few more people who are pissed off about KONY 2012:

Tila Tequila Tried To Off Herself Again (2012 Version)

I was sitting at home just yesterday, and thinking to myself, " gosh, I haven't heard anything from Tila Tequila for a awhile. I wonder what's happened to her? Maybe she's finally gotten her act together. Yeah, I'm sure that's it. She's probably realized that fame and attention whoring isn't all it's cracked up to be. Maybe she's had a breakthrough, and has decided that this life isn't for her anymore. Yeah that's it. Maybe she's decided to ditch the fame and glamor of Hollywood and settle down with a nice boy, renounce her partying ways, and WHAT OH NOOOO! TMZ reports:

Tila Tequila was rushed to the hospital last week ... after her roommate called 911 and said the reality star was hellbent on doing herself in ... TMZ has learned.

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ ... emergency responders came to the home at 1:30 AM on Wednesday ... and Tila was taken by ambulance to St. Joseph's hospital in Burbank, CA.

We're told the roommate told cops Tila had "tried to kill herself all week."

Sources say Tila was in and out of consciousness in the house ... and officials decided she needed psychiatric help, stat. 

You know, they say you have to let go of your past to move ahead. I'm saying this because this is the third or fourth "alleged" suicide attempt for Tila Tequila. I'm not saying that I want her to kill herself, but what I am saying is that everyone seems to get better with practice but her.